Another Evil Conservative Industries Product

Are you struggling with a child who is disrespectful, obnoxious or even abusive toward you? Are you frustrated and exhausted from arguing constantly? Do you "walk on eggshells" around your child, avoiding conflicts that will "set him off?" Have you tried screaming, punishing, pleading, and negotiating and your child still walks all over you? This is the scam being peddled by James Lehman’s Total Transformation® program wherein he guarantees you can get your misbehaving little brat under control in just sixty seconds using his proven techniques. In a word, “balderdash”.

Here at Evil Conservative Industries® we’ve come up with a program that will instantly turn your back sassing, acting out little nipper into a respectful, obedient child or we’ll refund your money with no questions asked. We’ve teamed up with Bailey Hardwoods® to bring you the most innovative childcare product on the market today. We’ve named our product, “Pocket Paddle”. By properly applying Pocket Paddle your child’s attitude will change instantly. Pocket Paddle has been proven to be effective in children who back talk, act out, are disrespectful and even those children diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. Trust us, you’ll get their attention. And, that’s not all; act now and you’ll receive a full year’s subscription to paddlers monthly. “Paddlers Monthly” discusses paddling techniques, which paddle is right for you and hundreds of testimonials from fellow paddlers.

Don’t be fooled by these new age, political correct, feel good programs that insist they can change your child’s behavior by giving them a hug and using buzzwords like, “self esteem and feelings”. Paddling is a proven technique that works every time it’s tried.

Pocket Paddle come in a wide array of styles and colors. You can choose from woods like wild cherry, hickory, maple or oak. We hand stain each paddle to your specifications and seal it with two coats of lacquer, ensuring your paddle will last until little Timmy is out of the house and off to college.

Pocket Paddle also comes in a variety of sizes from petite for children under the age of ten to extra large for teenagers and fat kids.

If you want to be a responsible parent and you love your children you’ll beat their ass with Pocket Paddle.

And that’s not all. To comply with the Americas with Disabilities act if you are disabled to the point that you can’t properly use Pocket Paddle we’ll send one of our trained professionals to beat your kid’s ass for you, that’s how much we care.

Pocket Paddle comes with complete, easy to follow instructions and in no time you’ll be an expert in paddling. Don’t let your child end up in prison, order Pocket Paddle today.

Conservative Springfield 19AUG08