Dear Congress,

Dear Congress,

The first amendment to our constitution states;

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Most specifically, I wish to take advantage of my right to petition the government for a redress of grievances. As a tax paying, voting citizen I expect attention to each and every one of them and further demand a timely, concise reply. By the way, a few resignations are expected. My grievances are as follows;

1.I work at least five days a week, only to discover that a full one third of my gainful employment, over the course of my lifetime is spent filling the trough of government for people and special interest groups to feed at. The founding of this country entailed no income tax and I find it obscene that money is taken from my pay long before I see it and spent on things I wholly disagree with.

2.Those who actually spent precious blood in the birthing of America never envisioned the elected political leaders of this country as full time cronies suckling at the teat of hard working patriots. The valorous members of the first continental congress received no pay and actually pledged their fortunes to stake this honorable endeavor we now know as these United States. They served because of their love of country. Today I am forced to endure carnival hucksters who have made a career of politics and retiring millionaires. Modern day politicos cannot be distinguished between prostitutes or politicians. Though, at least prostitutes can take a shower at the end of the day, “night” and become clean again. Politicians will forever have the stench of corruption upon them and carry it to their maker. My only hope is that as they approach those pearly gates John Adams and Thomas Jefferson are waiting outside the fence with axe handles and pitchforks.

3.Our constitution allows our federal government very limited powers. After all, the framers were separating from an oppressive King George and trusted not another monolithic entity. No, our founders entrusted freedom in, “we the people” and limited the scope of governmental intrusion into the lives of the electorate. Federal powers as enumerated in article one, two and three of our constitution strictly limit federal authority in three, “and only three” areas of federal injection into our lives. That being; provide for a common defense, settle disputes between the several states only in the arena of commerce and negotiate international treaties. Done, fini, end of story. Those of you in congress have not only adulterated our sacred constitution you have belied those great men’s virtue who made it possible for you to breathe freedom.

4. “To take from one, because it is thought his own industry and that of his fathers has acquired too much, in order to spare to others, who, or whose fathers, have not exercised equal industry and skill, is to violate arbitrarily the first principle of association, the guarantee to everyone the free exercise of his industry and the fruits acquired by it.” — Thomas Jefferson, letter to Joseph Milligan, April 6, 1816

“A wise and frugal government… shall restrain men from injuring one another, shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government.” — Thomas Jefferson, First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1801

“Congress has not unlimited powers to provide for the general welfare, but only those specifically enumerated.” — Thomas Jefferson

“The moment the idea is admitted into society that property is not as sacred as the laws of God, and that there is not a force of law and public justice to protect it, anarchy and tyranny commence. If ‘Thou shalt not covet’ and ‘Thou shalt not steal’ were not commandments of Heaven, they must be made inviolable precepts in every society before it can be civilized or made free.” — John Adams, A Defense of the Constitutions of Government of the United States of America, 1787

“With respect to the two words ‘general welfare,’ I have always regarded them as qualified by the detail of powers connected with them. To take them in a literal and unlimited sense would be a metamorphosis of the Constitution into a character which there is a host of proofs was not contemplated by its creators.” — James Madison in a letter to James Robertson

In 1794, when Congress appropriated $15,000 for relief of French refugees who fled from insurrection in San Domingo to Baltimore and Philadelphia, James Madison stood on the floor of the House to object saying:

“I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents.” — James Madison, 4 Annals of Congress 179, 1794

“[T]he government of the United States is a definite government, confined to specified objects. It is not like the state governments, whose powers are more general. Charity is no part of the legislative duty of the government.” — James Madison

Those quotes should give pause to all elected federal representation. For instance, reflect if you will the fate of Benito Mussolini. For ignoring the expressed will and intent of our founding documents, the sacrament and cornerstone of this republic a fate awaits you long winded public servants. Whether it is here or in eternity; to take money from one person and give it to someone unknown by the donor is almost blasphemous and surely damnable. By rewarding failure and punishing success you have guaranteed more of one and less of the other.

5.Though I can’t speak for God I do spend a great portion of my waking and slumber hours speaking to him. By atoning to the poor by keeping them impoverished I suspect there will be a special place in hell for you. You have positioned the poor against the rich in the cage match for the ages. Instead of holding up success as attainable and an example to those unwashed downtrodden plebes you have incited class warfare and scorned success. Thereby, assigning the impoverished as your voting block and ensuring continued poverty thus discarding lives.

6.Finally, yet not completely by any means, I’m on to you; I get it. The only difference between you and a bag of excrement is the bag and on reflection, perhaps comparing you to excrement is an insult to excrement. I think I can speak for all Americans when I say this; we as a people have figured this out. You rubes in $30 dollar suits show up in Washington and after thirty years of bending over the American taxpayer you retire as multi-millionaires. And, know this; that glow you see just over the Potomac is the growing crowd of, “we the people” lighting our torches and sharpening our pitchforks. Sleep tight.

Conservative Springfield 30 OCT 08

America; Epilogue

As America squats upon the precipice of electing a dyed in the wool socialist, hell bent on destroying the country that made him into the wealthy elitist he truly is, I can’t help feeling that we are quite simply reaping what we have sown. For we have taken the gift that is America, “paid for in blood by patriots” and adulterated it beyond all recognition. We have inherited the dreams and aspirations of those founders only to squander them as irrelevant or antiquated.

Apparently we have a majority of citizens ready to willingly embrace socialism when it was capitalism combined with the entrepreneurial spirit of ordinary people most responsible for American exceptionalism. In just over two hundred years we, as a country, have bested the rest of the world in every form of human endeavor. We have the highest standard of living known to man. For all of the hyperbolic hyperbole about poverty across these fruited plains even the supposed impoverished are fat and happy mired in their muck. We have six billion people weighing down this orb and more than half of them do so without such luxuries as electricity and running water. And yet we complain and demand change.

What has spoiled this country is the separation from those founders, from their ideals combined with our tepid faith in our constitution and God. John Adam’s said, “We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other”.

Until 1948 the bible and God was an integral component in the rearing and education of America’s youth. 1949 stands out as the first year of a decline in scholastic achievement.

Speak to anyone of public school matriculation and, on balance, the most favored response to religion in the classroom is the oft repeated separation of church and state. Yet, no such language exists in our founding documents and those who born this country couldn’t imagine a populace so ill informed as to the bible and the word of God.

Still, highlighted in this misconception is the apt labeling of an ill informed electorate as to the content and context of our founding documents; the cornerstone of this representative republic.

It is saddening to realize that those men, Adams, Jefferson, Franklin, et al, pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor to foster a country now inhabited by spoiled children willing to follow the latest pied piper into an ideology that has miserably failed every time it’s been tried.

The tenets of socialism are directly proportional to our national debt, our porous borders, our entitlement mentality, the current financial crisis, our bloated bureaucracy, abortion, gay marriage and the rapid moral and social decay infecting the body whole that is America. Now, it seems, the great unwashed residing in this divinely inspired republic is desirous to not only dip their respective feet in the communal socialist pool but jump head first off the high dive and become totally immersed. This only confirms a suspicion I’ve held for some time; Mr. Adam’s was right. Without religion and morality our constitution survives not. However, in another sense, perverted as it is, it is only common sense. After all, checkers sells more than chess. And I can’t recall the last time I gazed upon the New York Times best seller list and recognized the King James edition of our holy bible gracing that population.

Conservative Springfield 27 OCT 08

Random Thoughts

Considering the stakes and the current location of democrat v. republican fulcrum placement, the muscle belying my clavicle insist McCain/Palin is awarded the gold star in electoral mathematics. However, beguiling my heart is the electrical activity within my cranium, crackling the synopses with a greater static charge. For it is without undue modesty and self deprecation that I have gazed into the future and found it wanting. This confidence of credit, “care of the democrats” ensures that those clouds upon our fiscal horizon bear storms and tidings of monumental doom. Whosoever commands the rudder that is these several states, will face a head wind of biblical proportions and thus incur the wrath of its populace, in all measures of demographics. Why then, would thinking conservatives, purport to support the blighting of Sarah Palin by association with four years of pestilence and political purgatory? For those in the audience who might have matriculated insomuch and throughout our public schools, paying fraught attention to recess while endeavoring sublime sweet slumber midst the application of social studies let me be succinct. And, postulate a profundity; the next four years will require the electorate to bite the excrement sandwich and swallow it whole. Contrary to the will and entrepreneurial spirit of, “we the people” foisted upon America is the doom and gloom of a democrat inspired recession at best and a super depression at worst. This prescient posit is neither unassailable nor avoidable. It will be done. So, I would postulate this; why would we waste Sarah on a hold-em draw with all of our outs out? Of course, Barry is more than slightly left of Lenin and Marx and provided Mao se-Barry had the resources to tank these fruited plains I have no doubt he would Carter us into oblivion yet, see rule one of a recession. Empty coffers and rampant inflation will tie this media mogul into a bobble headed Bozo with Dumbo ears, unable to finance the convergence of fries with a coke. That’s right MacDonald’s, you owe me a residual, and I’ll take fries with that.

Where is the political profitability in mucking in the mire wherein snake eyes is considered the best outcome and a hard eight is the motets of our financial communion.

Nope, let the financial meltdown be hung upon the democrats as Karma would suggest and let it be smiling Sarah, “and hopefully Bobby Jindal” upon the pedestal to smite the Obama in 2012, God willing.

Those financial funksters supposedly fending off our financial ruin haven’t a clue as to economic principals and workings of commerce at large. Thankfully you have me; a veritable cornucopia of capital principals, also known as cash money. Fiducially, America has an entitlement crisis. I have one rock upon which to rest my sacred honor and it is a skipper upon the waters of these United States. From here to forward, seatbelts are not simply compulsory, nay, they are a rudiment to sanity and safety; for enlightenment bestowed is perceived as a Lincoln stuck on high beam barreling right at you. Let your conscience be your guide.

Let’s get started; social security will soon bankrupt this country and the recent Popsicle credit freeze has paralyzed our economy, making us all rub noses and wear parkas. This is so simple, credit conservatism, and…. my giant brain for the positive magnetic response to negative mercurial negativism, piled high and steaming like the dung it is.

There is a positive outcome, and, upon reflection, one takes from this fomented financial farce, focused fervently, feverishly, upon fresh faced fanatics is the folly forwarded by those few unable to comprehend the seemingly incomprehensible.

This is simple, even in the abstract. Banks need dough, cash, moullah, hey…even junk in the trunk. And, social security is vamping 30% of our budget. Again, buck up buckaroo, all is not lost or forgotten, for the answer is conservatism; as usual.

America is tethered to forty-seven million seasoned citizens via the social security lifeline. Since Chuck Hesston has removed Soylent Green as an option let us explore plan “B” and the brilliance of a fertile mind, un-tethered.

Stay with me here; instead of nationalizing our biggest banks by infusing them with liquidity in return for preferred stock; I.E. “ownership” let us take those forty-seven million recipients of SSI and make them rich. That’s right granny; you just hit the mother load. But, not so fast; before grandma tries to convert her dollars to cat food there is that pesky codicil. Jointly sharing her passbook is, “we the people” or everyone’s favorite uncle; Sam. Yup, it’s a joint account with rights of survivorship ingrained and accepted. So, in theory our SSI recipients have $500,000.00 in a joint account with Uncle Sam. At five percent interest Fred and Ethel will receive $25,000.00 per annum; a windfall much greater than current social security disbursements. Banks would receive $700 billion dollars, “in $500k deposits” virtually ending the credit crisis and producing a river of liquidity. America would detach SSI from its ledger for good and banks would so endow each recipient with five percent. Upon the certain death, “death is certain” the treasury would recoup that deposit, costing taxpayers zero. We get rid of federally funded social security forever and solve the credit crisis for good.

Yes, we would have continuing expenditures for those fifty and older yet; that output will be short lived. Those under fifty still have a SSI deduction, matched by their employer, and placed in several approved money market accounts. This essentially privatizes SSI while solving our credit woes at no cost to the taxpayer.

As usual; I await your applause and accolades.

Conservative Springfield 21 OCT 08

This is Just Too Funny

I often wonder if democrats realize just what a laughing stock they have become. Think about it, as a humorist, is there a more target rich environment? But, most delightful is the all consuming schadenfreude we conservatives derive from laughing at them as they snobbishly assume we are laughing with them. To quote Rush; “we are having more fun than a human being should be allowed to have”.

Think about it; the democrats have foisted upon their legions pestilence, famine and misery and those great unwashed, leftward leaning dregs reply in unison, “thank you sir; may I have another”. It’s like watching Barney Fife make a citizens arrest.

You sometimes one has to wonder if democrat voters are suffering from beaten wife syndrome, call it beaten voter syndrome. Really, the voting predisposition for blacks in this country favors democrats nine to one, when history would suggest a polar opposite political persuasion in that demographic. After all, it was the northern republicans that fought against slavery. It was republicans that Lyndon Johnson turned to for support of civil rights legislation. That being the same Lyndon Johnson responsible for the war on poverty, by the way, how’s that going? I’ll give you a hint; visit any discount grocery on the third of any month and you can see for yourself. It’s disgusting. Had any other country did that to any minority living within our borders we would be at a state of war. Yet, the black community continues their incessant, incestuous marriage with those that have re-enslaved them. {Insert punch line here}

The recent financial collapse that will end western civilization is just the latest comedy directed by the DNC and targeted squarely at those they purport to care for, the poor and the elderly. Still, the AARP is the geriatric version of ACORN with fewer teeth and subsidized Viagra. That’s a knee slapper of guffaw proportion.

Democrats insert, “the children” into every postulate and proposal. After all, think of the children. All the while it is those same Leninist who have destroyed public education and squelched any attempt at privatization. And, of course, the teachers union responds by raising their union dues in order to greater finance the politicians that bent them over in the first place. Moe, Larry and Curly would be proud.

While a large majority of Jews routinely vote democrat it is those same democrats that have thwarted Israel’s right to crush their enemies with extreme prejudice. Hey, this is really a hoot; John Kerry enjoyed 70% of the Jewish vote in 2004. That’s just laugh out loud funny.

Most funny, at least for me, is the constant harping by Nitze neurotics about their support for the constitution while Charminizing it as toilet tissue and berating George Bush for following article two. Really, it’s Laverne and Shirley all over again.

Show me a problem and I will dust for the fingerprints of democrats every time. From Vietnam to Venezuela, a common denominator in all human endeavors is the presence of those rascally democrats.

As America is peering into the abyss and socializing our financial institutions take heart and enjoy, for it is the comedy of errors tickling our funny bone even as Rome burns. So, I say, let it all go to hell, let’s enjoy the collapse and revel in the discombobulating demise. For such is true and unassailable; when we re-visit 1860 and begin civil war two, those pinky waving Leninists loving laugh tracks will not be at war with civil blue blood republican senators that they have routinely romped. Oh no, they will be up against a much more formidable foe, that is we conservatives and here is the most prescient truisms ever posited; we practice the second amendment, with a vengeance.

Conservative Springfield 15 OCT 08