News From the WhiteHouse

Today the Whitehouse announced that, “Bamster Motors” formerly, know as General Motors “General Motors” renamed the company, “Government motors” and will release the, “Barrry-car” early in 2010. This first signature car of the Obama administration will reportedly employ the green technology candidate Obama promised to the American people as he crisscrossed the country in pursuit of buying votes for the presidency.

Early information is that A.C.O.R.N. and the “service workers international” drove busses to homeless shelters and loaded up the dregs, winos and mental deficient’s…bribed them with bologna sandwiches’, Boone’s Farm and Newport cigarettes to cast their votes for the Messiah. Reportedly’ the most difficult aspect of this elector hoodwinking was finding the correct bridge and gutter to drop off the homeless after their ballot casting. In many cases the overstuffed vans transporting the homeless simply slowed down at the nearest underpass and lobbed them out at 35 MPH. Obama called this act tough-love and his effort to reduce carbon emissions by not coming to a complete stop. There was also an ancillary wager between top staffer on just how many times the homeless would bounce. Rahm Emmanuel won the pool when a bum he launched from the moving van bounced a full seven times, braking his collar bone and suffering a severe head injury.

Reportedly, the “Barrry-car” has a drive train fueled by three 2000 lb. nickel cadmium batteries capable of propelling the 10,000 lb. vehicle four city blocks without a recharge or one downhill trip to the Strip Club; Most innovative is the pop-up solar shield upon battery exhaustion adding another 25 feet to the total distance traveled.

“B-car” dealers across the country are already touting the luxurious amenities such as the dual cup holders, rear window, four tires, ashtray and Obama bumper-sticker, said bumper sticker incapable of bring removed from said car due to a top secret polymer guaranteed for the life of your car.

In other White House news; Obama has latched on to a controversial stimulus package directed exclusively at the working poor. In his years as a community agitator he became acutely aware of the plight of working girls on the streets of Chicago. With the Obama recession a Presidential panel, “after an in depth study concluded that prostitutes” revenue is down 49% and “places upon them a severe hardship”. After all; the administration has offered that stimulus recovery in the porn industry is a moral imperative and has vowed to not let these scantily clad hard working American girls whom the President has, concluded that the porn industry is simply to big to fail.
Hence; The Obama, “Porn industry recover act” is set to be implemented by bypassing all debate and pouring $billings of American taxpayers $dollars into pornography billboards, Public service announcements and most importantly financing for the oft maligned, “Johns” or customers if you will.
Obama’s plan is to tax the oldest profession and blackmail the Johns. The Presidential office of management estimates that possible revenues to the federal coffers could increase by as much as $300 Billion dollars. Minus the cost of Federal outlay of condoms, birth control pills amid the tried and true method of the prostitute jumping up and down after intercourse. Oh…and if all else faiths there will be the abortion option for irresponsible women, who personally rack up abortions just for the convenience of the living.
Not to mention, Since the Bamster has been sworn in we have lost millions of jobs, wages are falling, the remunerations to the treasury are now down 22%

Obama has added $1Triion dollars to the national debt in just six-Months. At this rate our deficit will top $4 $trillion dollars and he’s just getting warmed up.
If he is able through reconciliation, “ a parliamentary procedure never used” less budget battles; he can jam down cap-and-trade down our throats, along with Healthcare and card check. He will then set his sights on Talk-radio”. His biggest detractors and the only personality are opposing him.
This is a fight for the economic and social fabric that is America.
So get up off your ass. Join the 9-12 project, band with conservatives and show up at these town meetings and be head. It’ all up to us to get involved…After all; it is our country; let’s take it back!!!!
Conservative Springfield Staff Writer