Porky Pig; on a Spit!!!

A few weeks ago I trekked off to Kentucky for my granddaughters’, daughters’ and wife’s birthday. A good time was had by all, yet I left there with an insight; one every American should ponder. Upon arriving, “fairly late Saturday night” I and my son in law had to prepare for the bountiful feast planned for the next evening. So…naturally; my son-in-law Brandon drove the old tractor around to the Hog pen while I readied a slipknot on the end of a long rope. Brandon then boxed in, “Dinner” as I looped the knot over the swine’s back-foot and in road gear, “pork chop” Brandon and I were off to a large tree where a chain hoist had been readied,…various lights, sharp objects and quantities of adult beverages lay at the ready…along with the rifle that would dispatch Porky off to the promised mud-wallow.
Needless to say, “though I will anyway” by mid-afternoon the grill was crackling, the smell of pork was in the air and God smiled on our little party with his great bounty.
We were self-sufficient, self adorned and unselfishly centered. We ate, we drank, we smoked and we laughed. And…not one government entity added an element to our display. We were the rugged individuals born of our forefathers.
Yet…I wondered; how great of the American demographic could abide such a living…or would. Today, we live in a Dr. Phil, Oprah world. A CFL light bulb, no smoking, fat assed, lazy Susan society. In short; we’ve become fat, sassy and nannied to death by our government…for our own good. This lifestyle has become us as a detriment to our heritage, our birthright.
America was founded on rugged individualism, on a can-do, kick-ass, spirit embodied in those men that sacrificed their lives, their fortunes and their scared honor that we might be free in a country, divinely inspired.
Now we can’t get off our wrinkled asses, dust the Cheetos off of our hands and waddle to the magic picture box to change the channel from, “Queer Eye For the Straight Guy” back to Oprah in time to miss the commercial.
We have gotten so damn lazy that we cannot put down the Xbox controller long enough to administer justice to the autocrats that have usurped our constitution and soiled the memory of those that founded this historic country.
I mean dammit; really, even you lackluster liberals cannot be happy with the government we are oppressed by. After a nanosecond in the cesspool that is Washington every damn politician is infected. So…they come to expect the free haircuts, the free shoeshine’s, the expense account, the royal health insurance, the full retirement after only one term, the free trips, the free money, the jets, the free suits, the interns, and so on.
They object to abject public service, though they extol it as virtuous. And…they set to feathering their own nest whilst absconding with the trust of their constituents.
Moreover; they set about constructing laws for our own good. As if they know better.
The lives of Americans no longer embody rugged individualism. That is now prohibited, by OSHA, the EPA or some other such governmental edict. No small loss when you consider the freedoms we have surrendered.
A quick search informed me that my weekend, “hog” butchering violated several state and federal laws and regulations. But then; I don’t abide a government for my protection. After all, the people should never fear their government; the government should fear the people.
Conservative Springfield Staff Writer