A True Legal Beagle

President Barack Obama on Tuesday named federal appeals court judge Sonia Sotomayor as his choice to replace the retiring justice David, “the stealthy” Souter.
The only surprise in the Bamster’s pick of this legal beagle is that he could actually refer to S.S. as a legal scholar with a straight face. And; it’s a damn good thing that justices don’t abide that pesky swimsuit competition…I’m just saying.

Still we’re to be comforted with Sonia’s life experiences and take solace in a more reflective representation of Hispanics on the court.
Foremost and let me emphasize this; The United States Supreme Court is not a representative body. For added effect, “THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT IS NOT A REPRESENTATIVE BODY”. If one could apply that noun to the court they would represent fidelity to the rule of law and our constitution. Also, I’ve had it with a nominee’s life experience and perspective. Just what in the hell does that mean? The mission of the court is to apply the law as enacted by the legislature whilst keeping a sharp eye on our founding documents.


Look, this isn’t rocket science. Liberals want two bites at this legal apple. They denounced George Bush for trampling the constitution by wiretapping bloodthirsty, “child raping” Jihadists and engaging in water sports when he got his hands on them. Yet; their litmus test for justices requires that they be moderate and mainstream in their judicial opinions. Moderate and mainstream, really…? What about a fealty to the constitution that justices swear to uphold.


And; don’t throw the “interpretation” mud pie against the wall…it won’t stick. The constitution is a fairly easy read. On the occasion wherein justices are actually befuddled as to the framers intent, simply read the words and thoughts of Adams, Jefferson and Franklin. Read the Federalists papers. Read Franklins diary. Read Jefferson’s journal. Simply read the minutes of the constitutional convention. It’s all there.


We know damn well what the intent of our founders was. What they pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor for. Study article two of our constitution in which the powers given to the federal government are enumerated. Peruse the tenth amendment where decreed that those powers not enumerated to the federal government are left to the state; after that explain again about demographic representation on the court. Hell; I can understand the constitution and I’m just a skinny comedian.


This won’t fly and you liberal sapsuckers know it. You beady little rodents expound your love of our constitution and revert to using it as Charmin® three-ply when it suits you. Your loyalty is to the latest identity that you’ve attached yourself to. The latest hero you’ve chosen to wash the feet of.


I’d rather not even hear your testimonials of endearment to the document you so readily compromise. You’ve attached yourself to a separation of church and state embedded within that sacrosanct document where one does not exist. You have used emanations of penumbras to find a general right to privacy when in reality it cannot be found in any article of text. You then used this non-existent tale of two constitutions to murder the un-born.


We conservatives see right through you Sheila’s come lately. You wear the constitution on your socialist sleeve until it doesn’t suit you. Then you discard it like a used condom and give it as much thought.
But; here’s the thing, and this is prescient. You liberal lackeys didn’t give birth to this country. You haven’t given up a damn thing for it. And; this is important, you didn’t inherit it. None of us did. We are simply stewards of freedom. Caretakers if you will. Yet; our most dedicated responsibility is to those documents written by the men who did give everything so that we might have dominion and an abiding stewardship over the singular country divinely founded. That responsibility requires us to fanatically oppose Obama’s pound puppy prognosticator of plenary judicial activism. We just say no!
Conservative Springfield Staff Writer